Four years ago my wife and I separated and at that time our child was just 7 years old, whilst the divorce itself was not brutal, we had both decided that it was for the best, the relationship between my ex-wife and I was not exactly amicable. With that being said, we had both made the decision to do all that we could to protect our child from the effects of the separation process and with the help of the some of the best family lawyers Paramatta had to offer, and some uncomfortable but necessary conversations, we both feel that we focussed well on our child and we think that he has come out of the process relatively unscathed. If you are going through a divorce and there are young children involved, here is how you can best protect them.
They’re Not Stupid
Children sense things very easily and they always know when things are not going well, for this reason it is important to have an open and honest conversation with them to set the record straight. If you do not speak with your child about the nuts and bolts of what is happening, you will run the risk of them thinking that things are worse than they are. Make sure that you have regular conversations with your child and answer any questions that they may have.
They’re Not Pawns
The biggest mistake that you can make is to use your children as pawns during the divorce proceedings and you should never try to turn them against their father or their mother. Regardless of what you may think about your ex-partner, they are still the parent of your child and it is up to you to make sure that this does not change.
Don’t Overdo It
Children very often feel as though things like this are somehow their fault and many parents shower their kids with gifts and treats to make them understand that this is not the case. Whilst there is nothing wrong with showing your child a good time, it is important that you aim to maintain as much normality as you possibly can and shower them with love rather than items or days out.
Keep it Private
If you are arguing or having heated debates with your ex-partner, you must ensure that it never happens in front of your children. Kids mimic the things that they see around them and if they are exposed to any fighting, arguing, name-calling or nastiness, you are showing them that this is alright to do.
Be Flexible
Whatever has gone on between your ex-partner and yourself is not the fault of the child and they should not be punished for this. For this reason it is vital that you are flexible whenever it comes to making negotiations for who will have custody of the child and for who will spend which times with them. Your child deserves two loving parents, in whatever situation and you must not be ignorant to this fact if you want them to continue with a happy childhood.