Entering the dating pool once you’re into your 40s can be amazing. You’re braver, smarter, sexier because you’re comfortable in your own skin, and more discerning. These qualities can become your superpowers, making dating not just fun, but more successful as you’ll be able to separate the wheat from the chaff far more quickly.
This Could Be It, So Choose Wisely
Divorce rates dropped by almost 20% from 2008 to 2018 because more young adults are waiting before they get hitched. There’s a happy trend these days towards gaining more life experience, increasing one’s financial stability, and fostering a stronger sense of self before tripping down the aisle.
How does this affect you? Well, there will be more players looking to tie the knot, and if that’s the case then make sure you don’t rush into things. Marrying when you’re in your 40s means there’s simply less time before death do you part, so you need to focus on spending time with someone worth the effort, someone with the potential for a long-term future.
You need to enjoy the same things, for example. If you love a good book, have fun playing online blackjack, and have a passion for film and art galleries and they prefer an early morning marathon, you’ll have trouble down the line!
Beware of Excess Baggage
Once you’ve reached this age, it’s very likely that you’ve experienced heartbreak, be it in a marriage or a partner, and your date no doubt has as well. Make sure that you’re both over these hurts and are ready to move forward.
If they’re mean about their ex-partner, that’s a red flag indicating that things have not properly been dealt with. This increases the risk of maladaptive relationship patterns being repeated with you.
Strive for Independence Along with Interdependence
One of the many perks of dating at a later age is that you’ve most probably spent time working on yourself and are comfortable with who you are. If not, do take some time to consider your dating goals, explore your values, and sound out your preferences.
You need to know what your expectations for a relationship are, be able to clearly communicate your deal breakers, but avoid being too rigid as well.
Doing this kind of work internally will affect your life by making you more independent in a relationship and more interdependent with your partner, too. So, you’ll be able to function well on your own but will also be comfortable fulfilling the needs your partner brings to the table.
Decide How to Navigate Gender Stereotypes
Expectations around gender roles have changed hugely over recent years, and this means that you and your partner may hold different philosophies and ideas about who does what. This is even more true when you’re both financially independent and used to being on your own.
Open, honest communication around who picks up the cheque, whether doors need to be opened for you or not, and who does the majority of domestic labour is the only way to find your fit over the long-term.