It is safe to say that no one wants to be cheated on. Being cheated on and betrayed is one of the worst things that can happen in a romantic relationship. When you give someone your trust and decide to be monogamous, it is not only hurtful to discover they’re cheating on you, and it can also be downright traumatic.
Cheaters don’t walk around advertising their misdeeds. Instead, they lie as much as possible to cover up their double life! However, even the best cheaters leave telltale signs of their infidelity. Betrayed partners and spouses come to us all the time, wanting to know what they should look for. These are the answers:
Signs That Your Significant Other Is Cheating on You
Look for changes in habits and patterns.
If you’ve been exclusive with your partner for a few months or longer, you probably know their patterns. Maybe they go to the gym four times a week and to the farmer’s market every Saturday. However, when it comes to cheaters, without warning all of their habits will change.
They may suddenly have excuse after excuse as to why they’re going to the gym at different times, why errands took longer when they didn’t before, or they have extra work trips or events. You take their word for it, at first, but something doesn’t seem right.
They treat their cell phones like it’s their baby.
They used to leave their cell phones on the table or couch when they went into the kitchen or bathroom, but not any longer. Instead, they bring it with them everywhere they go, even around the house.
If they mistakenly leave their phone on the counter where you can see it, etc., they rush back to grab it, looking worried and suspicious. If you ask to use their phone for a call or to search Google, etc., they hover over you or try and make up an excuse as to why you can’t use it.
Your mutual friends suddenly seem uncomfortable when they’re around you or your partner.
It is common for at least one of your mutual friends to know about the affair. Your friend might act distracted or unhappy when your partner is around. They might avoid keeping in touch, as they are worried about rumors regarding your partner’s infidelity and don’t want to be the one to tell you. Other times, they might be the person your partner is cheating with.
When you ask them about cheating, they get defensive and go on the attack.
Someone who isn’t cheating at all will not (typically) spring to and anger. Instead, they will act concerned that you thought they were cheating and reassure you that they aren’t. They will affirm your relationship and connection. A cheater, on the other hand, will accuse you of not trusting them and ask if you’re the one cheating, then send you on a wild goose chase of accusations, to throw you off their trail.
Changes in eye contact.
When you ask your partner if they’re cheating, they might look you in the eye. Many people, incorrectly, believe that cheaters avoid eye contact. In reality, liars have been shown to make more (deliberate) eye contact, hoping to prove their innocence, not less. However, if your partner is cheating but still cares for you and does feel guilty, they may not even want to look at you out of shame and remorse.
They suddenly change their passwords or password-protected accounts they didn’t before.
All of the passwords you once knew for their cell, computer, email accounts, or credit cards have changed. They invent excuses as to why the passwords changed and didn’t give you the correct new passwords. Their computers and phones are password locked, and their text messages don’t appear on the home screen.
They STOP arguing or seem disinterested.
Cheating partners sometimes argue less as they have “one foot out the door”. They don’t want to engage in conflict, as they use what they perceive to be your flaws or relationship problems to justify their cheating. All they want to do is see their new love interest, not argue.
When they do argue, everything is your fault.
A healthy, loving partner will want to build bridges and heal arguments. A cheater doesn’t care as they are just looking for reasons to excuse their actions.
Your intuition senses something is off.
If you’ve had past partners cheat, you might be hypersensitive to the thought of your current partner cheating. However, intuition is one of the single most valuable tools we have. Without realizing it, your intuition is observing each of the above points, along with your partner’s expressions of love, body language, and micro-expressions.
How to Find out for Sure & Catch Your Cheating Partner in the Act!
Search credit card statements for unexpected transactions that might be related to their dalliances (hotels, restaurants for 2, happy hour receipts, etc.). Compare the days and times the card was charged with where your partner claimed to be.
Check cell phone records for frequent calls and texts to and from a number you don’t recognize.
Go to Social Catfish. Your partner may have created new accounts and blocked you from seeing their cheater accounts. Search their name, username, and phone number first. Include any nicknames they go by. Search images of them and see if they might appear in any results where they claim to be single and online dating.
If you can log into their phone or social media accounts, look for messages and DM’s between them and other users. Look for people who you’ve never met, who comment and frequently ‘like’ their pictures or posts, or who they do the same for.
It’s not always possible to stop a cheater in advance of their actions, but you can find out today if they are betraying you. Don’t allow someone to stomp carelessly on your heart and emotions.