Are you in a relationship that leaves you feeling sad, angry, miserable, depressed, or generally unhappy? Have you been with your partner for a long time without being happy and are wondering if it is time to say, “Good-bye”? Well, you may be ready to say, “Au revoir” to your dysfunctional relationship and “Bonjour” to a happier you. Here are a few signs that it’s time for you to make a change.
The One Way Street
Relationships take work, respect, empathy, and devotion on the part of both partners to be successful. If you’re in a relationship where you feel like you are doing all of the work and understanding, you have a problem.
There will always be times when one person is putting in a bit more effort than the other. However, the problem comes when it is always one person making the sacrifices, or putting in the extra effort to keep the other person happy. There needs to be an amicable balance in give and take to keep the relationship equal.
Healthy communication is vital to any relationship no matter what the specifics of the relationship. Part of the respect aspect of a relationship is through being able to openly voice your concerns, ideas, and feelings in a non-aggressive or pointed manner without feeling as though you will be berated for doing so.
It is never just one person or the other’s fault when a relationship begins to fail. Every interaction has two sides which means that every interaction has the potential for misunderstandings. If your interactions turn into a battle over who did what and tirades of placing blame instead of an open line of communication, then it’s time to seek help or end the relationship.
Violence or Abuse
Self-defense is the only reason for any adult to lay a hand on another adult. If your partner is physically aggressive to you, get out; and get out now! This kind of behavior is unacceptable and there is no excuse for it.
Abuse extends past just the physical; emotional and psychological abuse are even more devastating and paralyzing than physical abuse, making them harder to detect. Your partner should never make you feel bad about yourself with their words or actions. If you find yourself worrying all the time about upsetting your partner or fearful for no real reason, then it’s time to leave. You deserve better treatment and to be able to live a fear free life.
Cheating and Lying
Since every relationship is different and has its own definitions, for this purpose cheating is being defined as being emotionally or physically active through sex, sexting, or online interactions without the knowledge and approval of the non-participating party.
If you have caught your partner cheating, or lying to you about where they are, who they are with, or even where they are spending their money, then you have a problem. It is impossible to trust people who cheat and lie. And since trust is integral in a healthy relationship any relationship that is built around these two things is doomed to fail.
Drinking or Drugs
This doesn’t refer to having a casual beer with friends or an occasional night of partying. This section is targeted towards those individuals who just can’t live without a drink or who are severe hardcore drug users.
You may not think your partner’s drinking is a problem, but if it leaves you feeling resentful, or unappreciated and used, then it is toxic to you and your relationship. If you have spoken to your partner about their drinking or drug use and it does no good, then there is nothing that you can do to change their behavior and you have to decide if that is the life that you want to live. If not, leaving might be the wake-up call that your loved one needs.
Although everyone feels lonely sometimes whether they are in a good relationship or not, you should not feel alone in your relationship. If you find yourself chronically feeling left out of things, on your own, or treated indifferently it is time to move on, as it is obvious that you do not fall high enough on your partner’s priorities, or they are just not capable of meeting your emotional needs.